Tuesday, March 13, 2007,:
di ko alam kung bakit ako nagkakaganito. i told myself TONS of times that I'd leace my feelings all behind, I'd forget all about it, so that I won't get hurt anymore. pero bakit ganun? kinausap mo lang ako., nahuhulog uli ako sayo... :( lalo na nung hinanap mo ako kanina.. nung di mo ako nakita... nung sinabi mong hinintay mo ako... :( pero, im not like before.. na iisiping "mahal pa niya ako kasi hinintay niya ko/kasi hinahanap niya ako.." and those kinds of crap.. those were the thoughts that made this scar in my heart BIG -- no, HUGE!!
"ginawa ko naman ang lahat, bakit bigla na lang naghanap..."
the line says it all.. ginawa ko naman ang lahat ah! the promises WE'VE made!? I've KEPT THEM ALL! akala mo ba hindi ako nahirapan?! hirap na hirap ako nun!! just the thought of not having you beside me kills! sana naman tiniis mo rin un tulad ko.... akala ko ba kaya mo akong hintayin?! bakit iilang buwan lang., di mo pa nagawa?! alam mo..... kung di mo pala kaya.. sana sinabi mo sakin ng maaga.. para di ako umasa sa wala!! alam mo, nasasaktan parin ako ngayon!! bumabalik nga ung closeness natin.. pero halatang umiiwas ka parin sakin.... :(
"ang dating walang hanggan, nagkaroon ng katapusan.... :'("
you kept on telling me that nothing's gonna make you change your mind when it comes to loving me.. you told me that you'll love me forever... well, i guess forever's just a fantasy.. i believed every little thing you've told me.. yes, i believed them all. was I such a fool to believe? I don't think so.. I love you.. I just wish EVERYTHING that you have told me are/were/will be true...
"someone promised that he'd catch me,
but then he let me fall..."
promises.. i should've learned that promises were MADE and MEANT to be broken... but i don't know.. I'm still hoping someone would prove me wrong...
"i try to walk away but i keep telling myself..
..HE's the ONE for me..
WE were MEANT TO BE..."
Yes, believe it or not, I still tell myself that. Stupidity might be my bestfriend right now. Insanity is my sister. But, would you blame me? could you? If you were in my shoes... what would you do? When your guy suddenly tells you he has let go, when you thought he still loves you....?
"i tried to believe that it wasn't true..."
......when you told me you have let go.... :'(
"still i'm here though burning inside..."
again -- Yes, I'm still here.. I know I should be out there having fun on my own. But no, I'm not doing that. Maybe, just maybe, I'm just waiting for him to tell me the answer to my still-burning question... I just want to know how he could do that to me...
"just the notion of goodbye,
it breaks my heart,
it tears me up inside........."
those lines speak for itself... i never knew how painful "goodbye" was... until he said that to me...
"turn and walk away...."
i know.. i know.. that's what i should do... but why is it so hard?!
"my head says go and find the door..
but my heart says i've found you...."
hehe.. complicated noh? my mind's been telling me to move on the day he broke my heart... my i just can't seem to make my heart follow...
"loving someone,
losing myself
only left me to blame..."
i blame him for hurting me.. i blame myself for not realizing the fact that i should move on...
"maybe I'll make it after all..."
hoping.. hoping i'd make it...
Labels: lines
