Childhood days;

Saturday, March 31, 2007,:

Tears flowed once again. But this time, it's a different story.

I have this thing with "promises." Somehow, no one ever kept their promises with me, especially the guy I loved. I fought with promises those months I've been waiting for him. Hoping, wishing, praying that somehow, in some way, he would, and could keep his promise. But I was just living in my fantasy world. Waiting for someone to wake me up.

Some times last night, I was talking to spongebob on my cellphone. He promised he'd wait for me and call me up when I get home. I heard that word again. Promise. I told myself I never wanted to hear it again. But here I am again, hearing my worst enemy. I thought, maybe he's different, maybe he'd keep this promise. So, I believed him. I gave myself a chance to believe in it again.

I got home tired, and a bit sleepy. Something in me wanted to know if he could, and if he is keeping his promise. I texted him "ei, i just got home". No reply. I texted him twice -- still no reply. Then he texted me, he told me "di kita makakausap. may gumagamit ng fone." When I read that, I got disappointed. Then it struck me, wala na ba talagang marunong tumupad ng promises nila?! lalo na sakin?! Mababaw, I know. Siguro talaga, I just need not to hope any longer. So when he called me up sa cellphone ko, I told him to never promise me anything. The telephone in my room rang -- it was him.

I started to cry, why? I knew I somehow hurt his feelings with what I told him. He's someone so sensitive, someone I can't afford to hurt, but I made him cry. I was shocked! No one ever cried because I was crying. I asked him why he was sad. He simply told me "masama bang maging malungkot ng walang rason? masama bang maging malungkot dahil malungkot ung taong mahal ko?" I was flattered. Even with my ex, he didn't cry when I cried. Well, there are times when I scare him or threaten him with stuff like slit my wrist, he cries. But something this simple? He never cried. I wanted to know why spongebob was crying. He began to talk. He told me "ayokong nalulungkot ka o nasasaktan ka.. kasi mas lalo akong nasasaktan.. sorry kung umiiyak ako... ganito kasi kita ka-mahal..." I was really touched. He even thanked me. He hasn't cried in awhile (that's what he said), and I was the only reason why tears flowed out from his eyes. "maybe I really love you so much.. maybe we're really meant for each other..." That's what he said.

After last night, I know for sure that I love him more now. I couldn't believe it, but I know I love him. And I can feel that he loves me, too. I just hope this would last.

Labels: love, promises, spongebob, tears