Wednesday, November 19, 2008,:
you'll never know how your day will end until it does.
fun -- that's how i first thought of how my day was. though i was freakin' pissed at one certain subject, depressed at another, it was all good. hanging out with blockmates somehow chase away the senti moments now and then. sadly, we won't be a 'block' anymore come next term. :(
i was kinda prepped up earlier today. though i was dreading dismissal ('cause i'll be going to ortigas and the mrt ride is just like hell.:|), everything was good. the block has been laughing throughout the day. when were we never? :))
while walking by agno, everything turned upside down.
hindi siya yan, sana hindi siya yan.. were the words that kept on repeating on my head. as we were approaching the main campus, the guy turned ang looked at me.
:| :O
it was
him.he smiled at me. i smiled back with a little :p. all was good if it were judged by the naked eye. but God knows how hurt i got. :|
seeing him, means the world to me. well, not literally. it's like my heart beats faster when i see him, slower when i don't. [ook, hoping
he would'nt be able to see this.
plagiarism ((: ] i know
those words aren't mine originally, but his. but what can i do? :\
seriously,
i'm getting tired of this. having fun with my day, then feeling low the moment i see him and remember the days when we were an
"us". it's
tiring and at the same time it's
hurting me as well. ):
it's been more than 24 months since that awful incident. it's been 20 months since i've made that stupid decision. and i, for one, know it's
stupid of me not to get over it! )):
enough is
ENOUGHi've endured
so much.
you know who
YOU are.
and if by chance, you come across with my blog.]
help me.
help me move on :|
i love you. i STILL do.
but from what's happening?
both of us should
stay away from each other until we decide if we should be
just friends, or relive our
"you, me, us" days. :\
Labels: accept, babybear, bloggie, college, complicated, confessions, hurt, letting go, life, love, months, ouch, year
isn't it obvious that there's nothing much going on im ny life rather than study, study, study?
my mom bought me a copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows last saturday! :)
anyway, my mind's not working well since this is the first time that i have no assignments.. though i have to memorize a poem (a long one, actually) for an inter-school competition (yep! i'm a part of it! :) )
2 days... in 2 days, patrick and i will be 4 months! weee!
patrick,
in two days, 4 months na tayong magkasama.. remember on our first monthsary, you told me "kung kaya natin one month, kaya natin ONE LIFETIME.." and that's what we'll do.. :) I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABY! :)Labels: months, school, seniors, spongebob, teddybear
happy 3 months patrick!Ü
i wish i could be there with you right now...
i'm missing you lots!
i love you...üThe sweetest things in life,
Is knowing that i have you there by my side
those moments together, i will forever treasure
sweet memories of ours will last forever..
The sweetest things in life,
Is having someone to talk to at night..
To share our bittersweet days...
Someone who can charm us in any way..
The sweetest things in life,
Is knowing that you are not alone..
That someone is there by your side..
In times of loneliness and cold..
The sweetest thing in MY life,
Is knowing that I'm yours and you're mine..
Our special bond will bind us through..
No one can break us apart as we say "i love you..."
3 months na kami! gawd, i'm soo happy na binati niya ako nung midnight! tinext ko kasi siya eh. di naman ako naghihintay ng reply galing sa kanya, kaya nag-internet ako para antukin. nung inaantok na ako, may 2 txts akong na-receive. ung friend ko, binati kami ni patrick. haha! midnight niya kami binati. :D tas binati rin niya ako.:) that made my day so good.ü
Labels: months, spongebob, teddybear
I should've done something way back. I should've said something when I had the chance. But why didn't I? Why didn't I try to open my mouth to say something? Anything?! Maybe I knew right from the start that nothing would change... even if I had the guts to say something. Would things be any different? I wouldn't know. I'm just living life thinking of "what-could-have-been's".
Just one word might've changed my life. I would've been bubblier, happier, and more at ease. Am I sure with that? No, I'm not. I don't even know if life would've been harder if things weren't this way! How I wish I had the courage to let him know how I feel. But, it's too late now. Is it?
Scared. That's the perfect word! I was so scared to let him know that I was wrong.. wrong to even make that decision. But nothing could ever change that now. Yes, I admitted it, I realized it now. But, would it change anything?
10 months (and counting?), I've been like this for 10 months. I pity myself for even staying like this for that long! But it won't last. I will change... EVERYTHING will change. Now, I have the guts to move on with life and let go of it all.. But still, it doesn't change the fact that I still love him... :'(
I promised not to let go, I promised to hold on. I might still be doing that.. but secretly. I just wish he'd soon realize my worth. I just wish that he'd realize how much he let go the moment he let go of me! I just wish he still loves me... even if not in the same degree.... :'(Labels: 10, letting go, love, months
