today, my summer classes started officially. i didn't know that some of my friends enrolled in the same class i did (like Boogie, Mia, and Benjie) but at least i've got some people to talk to, right? :)

never knew summer classes would be fast-paced. our prof discussed the lessons that i had to learn in a week last term, in one friggin' day! i hate to admit it, if i only studied well in intecal last term, i wouldn't have been stuck in manila trying to pass it again.:| and i would be going to the province witnessing Kuya Geepee's wedding on may 4 as one of the bridesmaids.

and because i was stupid enough to fail it - unintentionally - and was stupid enough not to pass my med certificate, i'll be left in Manila, with only Ate Daday with me, while my parents and my sister goes off to Romblon, head to the beach and the wedding.

ugh.
this is NOT my kind of summer. :|

Labels: anger, bloggie, college, dlsu, escapades, gimik, life, random, summer, vacation, why

i've never really known what it feels like to fail. i've always been known as "the smart girl" or the intelligent one of my batch. now, i can't face them and say i failed.

Labels: bloggie, class, college, dlsu, exam, hurt, life

it's been awhile since i've posted another bloggie. let's just say my being busy and lazy got the best out of me :))

soo, i read my past entries here and i admit, they're all pathetic. well, i just needed to let out things and rant, but i didn't realize how bad i had it :| i'm glad i've let it all go. :)

tomorrow is the said "judgement day" in DLSU. yess, our course card distribution day has finally arrived, and i'm not even excited about it. :\ intecal has got me worried ever since i was absent on our second quiz 'caue i was in the hospital getting my bp checked. :| apparently, at that time, my heart rate was way too high that they had to use ECG (i think?). i wasn't ALLOWED to fail any of the quizzed i've got left. but lo and behold, i had to fail one :| and since i forgot to pass my med certificate to the vice dean, my missed quiz was recorded as 0. :|

i hope and i pray that i would atleast get a 1.0.
i know i'm not worthy of anything higher than that. :|

Labels: bloggie, class, college, dlsu, dreams, exam, life, random, school, sick

on this day, three years ago
you were here beside me..
on this day, three years ago..
our faces with smiles, both of us were happy.

but that was three years ago
it seems like yesterday
but it happened too long ago
i wish you could've stayed

-------

he turns 19.
on this day three years ago,
he spent it with me.

who would've thought
that after three years
i would be able to greet him face to face.

happy birthday, m!(:
ily, imy.

Labels: babybear, bloggie, change, dlsu, life, nostalgia, random, year

dec.18 = course card distribution day
but there's something more to that date...

------

i won't hold back any longer. besides, i can't keep any of it anymore. i'll give them to him. i'll give them to M.

the scrapbook, my unsent letters, my thoughts when we were together and after we broke up -- all those things, i'll give it to M tomorrow. a part of me is ready to let it all go; a part of me has doubts. :s

should i give it or keep it? :s

i talked to joshua last night. he was unsure if i should give it, but definitely "keep everything he gave you", was what he kept on repeating. raymond said the same thing. but he told me to give the things i made for M na. cousin knows best than the ex, i suppose. :s

i was kind of "compromising" with raymond this afternoon. was with him. i almost chickened out of the would-be-meeting with M. he was telling not to, he was telling me to give it to him and not get scared. i guess, for me, that's the impossible.

i don't know what to do. :\ i'm willing to let go... let it all go. but is this what i want? :\ i'm tired of getting hurt for the past 2 years. i know this is stupid. i'm stupid, yes, i know. since i met him, i knew nothing but to love him. :\

my mistake. i know. everything was my mistake since we broke up. i never admitted it. but yes, everything was my fault. i knew, since then. i only blamed M for making me believe he's keeping the promise we made and for making me hope for nothing :\ i don't know. right now, i don't even know what to write...

well, this is the first time i'm not asking him to come back to me. :\ i'm not desperate. i love him, but i don't want to depend on the thought of him coming back.

i'll give it to him.
i'll show up tomorrow.
i'll talk to him.
whatever he says, whatever he may feel, i'd accept it.

yea, for the nth time.
i love M.
but i can't force him to love me again.

hope tomorrow turns out okay. :\

-----

plus, hoping to get good grades!:)

Labels: babybear, bloggie, college, complicated, confessions, dlsu, holding on, letting go, life, love, marty, ouch, selfish, tears

my blockmates and i should really stop labeling the weeks of this term as "hell weeks". it should be "hell term" :)).

finals are coming up. :\ i'm ready for solimen, kinda ready for diffcal, but i'm NOT yet ready for anageom. because of my very high last quiz (98/100, baby!(: hehe.) i just need about less than 30 points in the finals. i'm aiming to perfect it. yeaa. haha. taas ng pangarap eh :))

----------

saw him today. :\
didn't really much notice him.
well, i knew he was there.
but i didn't look at him,
nor waved at him,
nor smiled at him.
i just pretended that i didn't see him. :\
i kinda knew he saw me. :\
i felt it.
i knew it.
i know him.
and...
it hurts :\

i hate it. :|

----------

anyhoo, needs a lot of studying hours :))
wish me luck for my finals!:)

Labels: babybear, bloggie, class, college, complicated, dlsu, escapades, hurt, life, miss, promises, random, why

early in the morning, strawberry eyes had to welcome me. :\ remember the guy i was pertaining to in my previous blog? well, see the thing is, i had to set the record straight. seems like everything is sooo wrong. and before things get out of hand, i have to let him go. sadly, both of us didn't want to. it felt like it was sort of a break up even though it wasn't. i was supposed to avoid him and not text him. but he keeps on texting me! :'(

anyway, i had to go to Quezon Ave. to meet with my blockmate, Im. Our research paper is due on wednesday sooooo cram cram cram!! I live in the South and we're meeting somewhere in the North. So how in the world would I go there, right? Thank God for MRTs. :)) I left home around 8-ish, and rode a jeepney going to Pasay. when in Pasay, i rode off the jeepney and took the MRT. gaaawd, ang layoooo pala ng Quezon Ave. :|

anyhooo, i texted my blockmate when i reached cubao. He gave me directions and things -- in short, i had to meet him in McDo. :)) when i saw him, he told me that we'll be meeting with another blockmate, J. Say hello to randomness and laughter.:))

since he was still at home, I decided that we should wait outside J's house na lang. since none of us knew where he lived, we had to call him pa. :)) When we found out na, Im realized that J lived somewhere around the corner lang. After minutes of patience and the like, we drove off to Burger King in Timog Ave. :)

Basically, we just ate there since after eating, the 3 of us decided to do our school things in J's house. :)) bastaaaa. can't narrate everything 'cause it'll take up too much space. :) thing is, we were supposed to finish englres but couldn't, luckily, we almost did :) they, Im and J, played red alert why I youtube-d at the same time. :))

Im and I were supposed to go somewhere at 2pm though both of us lost track of time. :)) sooo, both of us were late for our thingies. :)) i was supposed to go to glorietta to meet with my hs friends: Alroze, Joshua and Marlon. hassle nga eh. haha. i forgot how far q.ave was. sooo, i got there at around 3:30pm

twilight was the movie we were going to watch. one of the cinemas there will show twilight at 3:40pm. sakto lang! haha. we sat somewhere in front 'cause that's the only place wherein unoccupied seats were found. i am kinda disappointed with the movie.:| i love the book better. lots of important stuff weren't added to the movie.:| the storyline was too fast-paced. Jasper was a bit stony. any omg, doesn't anyone notice how fast edward and bella became an item?! the author had a little exposure in the movie, too. i think the only thing i liked about it is the baseball scene. gotta love the song supermassive black hole by the muse :)

overall, i'd give it 2 stars. one for my love of the book, the other for the kilig factor that was ever present in the movie. :)

gtg guys, classes resume tomorrow. :|

Labels: bloggie, boybud, college, dlsu, escapades, friends, life, random, school

it feels so right, yet so wrong.

i've been having butterflies in my tummy. yea, i know. this is that feeling that i've never felt in years. the last time i felt this way was when M and I were together pa. which was more than a couple of years ago.

the thing is. i know it's wrong. and i'm not yet sure of what "this" is.

is this the little thing they call love? or infatuation?


------


on the uglier side of things. this week is hell week for the block. :\

guys, wish me luck this wednesday. i'm gonna need a whole lot of it!
one word: ANAGEOM

i DON'T want to repeat that friggin' subject :\

Labels: bloggie, class, college, complicated, confessions, dlsu, friends, holding on, letting go, life, love, random, selfish, truth, why

waaah!

thanks to raymond apacible for taking me to the competition. :) had sooo much fun! though araneta was quite a riot (nothing beats the noise of the UAAP season :))), i had fun!

here are my faves:
highschool division:
(in no particular order)
- La Salle Greenhills Airforce
- Miriam College Sayawatha
- Xavier School Dance X
- Ateneo High School Indak
- Claret School Hataw

college division:
- DLSU LaSalle Dance Company-Street
- ADMU
- UPLB
- Mapua

*winners in both divisions are in bold letters.

CONGRATULATIONS to the winners MC and DLSU.
Animo La Salle!

Xavier Dance X and LSGH Airforce were coool! :) Philippine All-Stars and G-Force (correct me if i'm wrong) performed, too!

again... thanks raymond for bringing me along :)

can't wait for year5


-

Labels: bloggie, college, dlsu, escapades, friends, gimik, school

""if you two are meant to be,"
someday you'll be together at the right time."

i am your bestfriend :)
a poet on the loose.
wanting a motorola U9 now.:))


the name's bianca. :) been living for 17 years now and a college frosh. currently in dlsu-m taking up bs ece :| a friend to all, an enemy to none. i am artsy in my own right. poems are my "thing". and i live by honesty. liars are off-limits here. got that? :)

.bestzhel.
.yanna.
.kini.
.hannah.
.beachbabemackee.
.abigail.
.pam.
.jem.
.den.
.lynnette.
.ghirlhie.
.maxinne.
.merie.
.jetjet.
.tzie.
.janine.
.chi.
.princess.
.grace.
.cazs.
.immi.
.JaJu.
.joan.
.bianca.
.char.
.trish.
.cutreenuh.
.kuya ervin.
.rie.
.riane.
.ate jane.
.wawa.
.TIN.
.kimi.

Designer : Kookies
Coding references are from: Le. Romantique & Daybeforemisery(yarlythestarfish)
Brushes from: Aethereality
Textures from: Hybird Genesis
Big thanks to DANGO DAIKAZOKU!