today, my summer classes started officially. i didn't know that some of my friends enrolled in the same class i did (like Boogie, Mia, and Benjie) but at least i've got some people to talk to, right? :)

never knew summer classes would be fast-paced. our prof discussed the lessons that i had to learn in a week last term, in one friggin' day! i hate to admit it, if i only studied well in intecal last term, i wouldn't have been stuck in manila trying to pass it again.:| and i would be going to the province witnessing Kuya Geepee's wedding on may 4 as one of the bridesmaids.

and because i was stupid enough to fail it - unintentionally - and was stupid enough not to pass my med certificate, i'll be left in Manila, with only Ate Daday with me, while my parents and my sister goes off to Romblon, head to the beach and the wedding.

ugh.
this is NOT my kind of summer. :|

Labels: anger, bloggie, college, dlsu, escapades, gimik, life, random, summer, vacation, why

it's been awhile since i've posted another bloggie. let's just say my being busy and lazy got the best out of me :))

soo, i read my past entries here and i admit, they're all pathetic. well, i just needed to let out things and rant, but i didn't realize how bad i had it :| i'm glad i've let it all go. :)

tomorrow is the said "judgement day" in DLSU. yess, our course card distribution day has finally arrived, and i'm not even excited about it. :\ intecal has got me worried ever since i was absent on our second quiz 'caue i was in the hospital getting my bp checked. :| apparently, at that time, my heart rate was way too high that they had to use ECG (i think?). i wasn't ALLOWED to fail any of the quizzed i've got left. but lo and behold, i had to fail one :| and since i forgot to pass my med certificate to the vice dean, my missed quiz was recorded as 0. :|

i hope and i pray that i would atleast get a 1.0.
i know i'm not worthy of anything higher than that. :|

Labels: bloggie, class, college, dlsu, dreams, exam, life, random, school, sick

on this day, three years ago
you were here beside me..
on this day, three years ago..
our faces with smiles, both of us were happy.

but that was three years ago
it seems like yesterday
but it happened too long ago
i wish you could've stayed

-------

he turns 19.
on this day three years ago,
he spent it with me.

who would've thought
that after three years
i would be able to greet him face to face.

happy birthday, m!(:
ily, imy.

Labels: babybear, bloggie, change, dlsu, life, nostalgia, random, year

why do i have to find out everything when it has all ended? do i really deserve to know? or do i just deserve to get hurt 'cause that's what i have done to him in the past? :[

let's put a new addition to the lies my ex-boyfriend has told me.

we [someone close to us and i] were talking some minutes ago. he was asking for an advice 'cause - again - his girlfriend and him are in a disagreement. he said "alam mo, highschool life ko parang highschool life lang ni [put my ex's name here], nung third year, may prom date, nung fourth year wala." i asked him to elaborate and he said, my ex's prom date was supposed to be his date during his grad ball. i asked, "eh dba niligawan niya ung girl from MC?"

and this was what the guy told me, "yup, he did. pero di natuloy kasi NAGPUNTA SA STATES UNG GIRL KAYA HINDI NAGING SILA...."

if i remember correctly, he told me (when he went back to me), that he stopped courting her 'cause he was COMPARING HER TO ME. i'm not being boastful or cocky. he told me everytime he talks to her, he wonders why she isn't makulit like me. he wonders why she's not much into texting like me. why she is not as sweet as me.

and now, now that i am slowly letting go, suddenly i find that out? isn't that a bit unfair, on my part? :[

so, he just came back to me 'cause she migrated to the States. was i supposed to be his rebound girl? all the while, i regret not choosing him, and then this? :[

then again, i really don't know the truth. i can't judge him or conclude anything until i get the chance to talk to him.

but, then again, will THAT ever happen?

Labels: babybear, bloggie, broken, college, complicated, confessions, confusion, end, hurt, letting go, life, ouch, random, selfish, time, truth, why

The rules: Link to your tagger and post these rules.

List 8 random facts about yourself
1. i`m a college frosh.xD
2. i'm a poet.:)
3. i play the guitar!:))
4. i wanna be taller :\
5. i'm 17. (haha. halatang walang masabi.xD)
6. music lover.:)
7. über friendly, pero medyo shy at first :))
8. guy frieends say that i look like a teddy bear :|

YOU
First name: Bianca
Name you wish you had: er. idk :))
What do people normally your name as: bianx/biancs/bianks/bianc (ahaha, ibaiba spelling), or binky :))
Birthday: 09 july
Bitrhplace: Manila.
Time of birth: 3:15pm
Single or taken: single :)

YOUR APPEARANCE
H0w tall are you: 5'
Wish you were taller: yea :[ pero ok na toh :))
Eye colour: Dark Brown. :))
Current hair color: Brown-ish
short or long hair: want longer hair.
ever dye your hair a bizarre color: nah. :P
last time you did something dramatic with you hair: uh, never?
glasses or contact: none
do you wear make up: er, occasionally :)
paint your nails: yea.:]

IN AN OPPOSITE GENDER
what eye color: Brown.
what hair color: brown/black
shy or outgoing: outgoing.
sexy or cute: both.xD
serious or fun: both!xD
older or younger than you: older.
a turn on: sense of humor, and expressive eyes :)
a turn off: hm, irresponsible
flowers or chocolates: flowers:)
pepsi or coke: neither
rap or rock: rock:)
relationship or one night stand: relationship:)
school or work: school
love or money: love.:"> (oo na, corny.xD)
wish you were prince or princess: nah.
like someone who was taken: er, no?
Saved your head: ??
used chopstick: yea
sang in the mirror to yourself: yea.
favorites flower: pink rose.
candy: lollipops.:)
junk food: hm, vcut? tostillas?
website: multi, facebook.:)
location: Philippines
animal: doggies.

MISC
ever cried over someone: yea.:[
is there anything you wish you could change about yourself: too much insensitivity.
do you think you're attractive: err? ahah, i think?
if you had to choose a fairytale as your life what would you choose: ..hmm
Do you play any sports: yea, badminton uhm.. and i used to ice skate :)

i tag: everybody.:)

Labels: random

bianca is angry/pissed/mad.

i hate it. :\

so much for my christmas :[

and i found out something from R.

M might just be mad at me.

wtf!? wth?! i don't think he has every right to be mad at me.

f*ck!

i can't even find a reason for him to hate me!

between us,

i should be the one hating him!

i'm not being bitter or selfish.

it's just that,

i know his side of the story,

i know mine.

he ONLY knows his.

so.. grr! >:(

Labels: bloggie, change, random

my blockmates and i should really stop labeling the weeks of this term as "hell weeks". it should be "hell term" :)).

finals are coming up. :\ i'm ready for solimen, kinda ready for diffcal, but i'm NOT yet ready for anageom. because of my very high last quiz (98/100, baby!(: hehe.) i just need about less than 30 points in the finals. i'm aiming to perfect it. yeaa. haha. taas ng pangarap eh :))

----------

saw him today. :\
didn't really much notice him.
well, i knew he was there.
but i didn't look at him,
nor waved at him,
nor smiled at him.
i just pretended that i didn't see him. :\
i kinda knew he saw me. :\
i felt it.
i knew it.
i know him.
and...
it hurts :\

i hate it. :|

----------

anyhoo, needs a lot of studying hours :))
wish me luck for my finals!:)

Labels: babybear, bloggie, class, college, complicated, dlsu, escapades, hurt, life, miss, promises, random, why

early in the morning, strawberry eyes had to welcome me. :\ remember the guy i was pertaining to in my previous blog? well, see the thing is, i had to set the record straight. seems like everything is sooo wrong. and before things get out of hand, i have to let him go. sadly, both of us didn't want to. it felt like it was sort of a break up even though it wasn't. i was supposed to avoid him and not text him. but he keeps on texting me! :'(

anyway, i had to go to Quezon Ave. to meet with my blockmate, Im. Our research paper is due on wednesday sooooo cram cram cram!! I live in the South and we're meeting somewhere in the North. So how in the world would I go there, right? Thank God for MRTs. :)) I left home around 8-ish, and rode a jeepney going to Pasay. when in Pasay, i rode off the jeepney and took the MRT. gaaawd, ang layoooo pala ng Quezon Ave. :|

anyhooo, i texted my blockmate when i reached cubao. He gave me directions and things -- in short, i had to meet him in McDo. :)) when i saw him, he told me that we'll be meeting with another blockmate, J. Say hello to randomness and laughter.:))

since he was still at home, I decided that we should wait outside J's house na lang. since none of us knew where he lived, we had to call him pa. :)) When we found out na, Im realized that J lived somewhere around the corner lang. After minutes of patience and the like, we drove off to Burger King in Timog Ave. :)

Basically, we just ate there since after eating, the 3 of us decided to do our school things in J's house. :)) bastaaaa. can't narrate everything 'cause it'll take up too much space. :) thing is, we were supposed to finish englres but couldn't, luckily, we almost did :) they, Im and J, played red alert why I youtube-d at the same time. :))

Im and I were supposed to go somewhere at 2pm though both of us lost track of time. :)) sooo, both of us were late for our thingies. :)) i was supposed to go to glorietta to meet with my hs friends: Alroze, Joshua and Marlon. hassle nga eh. haha. i forgot how far q.ave was. sooo, i got there at around 3:30pm

twilight was the movie we were going to watch. one of the cinemas there will show twilight at 3:40pm. sakto lang! haha. we sat somewhere in front 'cause that's the only place wherein unoccupied seats were found. i am kinda disappointed with the movie.:| i love the book better. lots of important stuff weren't added to the movie.:| the storyline was too fast-paced. Jasper was a bit stony. any omg, doesn't anyone notice how fast edward and bella became an item?! the author had a little exposure in the movie, too. i think the only thing i liked about it is the baseball scene. gotta love the song supermassive black hole by the muse :)

overall, i'd give it 2 stars. one for my love of the book, the other for the kilig factor that was ever present in the movie. :)

gtg guys, classes resume tomorrow. :|

Labels: bloggie, boybud, college, dlsu, escapades, friends, life, random, school

it feels so right, yet so wrong.

i've been having butterflies in my tummy. yea, i know. this is that feeling that i've never felt in years. the last time i felt this way was when M and I were together pa. which was more than a couple of years ago.

the thing is. i know it's wrong. and i'm not yet sure of what "this" is.

is this the little thing they call love? or infatuation?


------


on the uglier side of things. this week is hell week for the block. :\

guys, wish me luck this wednesday. i'm gonna need a whole lot of it!
one word: ANAGEOM

i DON'T want to repeat that friggin' subject :\

Labels: bloggie, class, college, complicated, confessions, dlsu, friends, holding on, letting go, life, love, random, selfish, truth, why

so, as of now, while typing this blog of mine, i'm schedding!

Schedding - v. (c/o Jan Juris Jim Go) fixing your own schedule for the next term

ugh. schedding is such a hassle. ang hirap pala! byebye 2nd term. it was nice knowing i was pre-enrolled (since i'm a frosh). gaah. this is giving me hardcore stress!

ok, updates:
- my friend and i are serious about this let-go-of-the-first-love-and-be-happy. as of now, everything's been going smoothly. but, what if i see him again? :\
- his (pertaining to the 'first love' above) cousin's been talking to me. no worries, though. but somehow, he's been talking to me endlessly. like, kulang na lang every minute kaming mag-usap. :|
- got 3 (yes, people. THREE) MATH quizzes next week. wish me luck!(:
- schedding is still pissing me off.

that's it for now. sleepy. need ENERGY! :)
study pa ko. huhu. night guys!

Labels: bloggie, college, complicated, friends, letting go, random, school

AWKWARD.

it's weird how one thing suddenly turns to another. i never thought i'd feel awkward around him again. :\

in the start of the school year, i saw him in school one friday morning. i was about to claim my id (mine wasn't processed at the same time as with my other blockmates), coincidentally, he was at the same place, at the same time, at the same day, for the same reason as i have. what a coincidence, right?

i didn't really see him instantly. i was sleepy and was wanting to get my id. that's all. then i noticed a group of guys enter the office. i didn't mind, i didn't recognize any of them. then when i heard the guy call out my blockmate's last name and mine, we went up to him, but somehow, one of the guys in that group was "looking" for someone.

"ui, Bianca!" was the first thing i heard. i looked up to see who it was, and guess what. it was Marty. :\ he was happy when he saw me. and i could see that in his eyes. he was smiling and when the guy asked my blockmate and i who was 'falcutila' between the two of us, Marty was the one who answered.

when we had to leave, i said my 'goodbyes' and he said his, and we went out separately. we [blockmate and i] stayed on one of the benches there in sj walk. we were supposed to do our grap plate but we were lazy. :))he passed by. "Bianx, uwi ka na ba?" i was nervous. heck, i didn't know why i was nervous! i told him 'no' since i really wasn't going home at that time, then he said "aok. ingat ka ha?" then he left.

minutes after, i received a text message, and it was from him. "WHAT A COINCIDENCE! ngayon pa tayo nagkita" it was written that way, believe me. he really didn't have to text me that, but he did.

after months, i found him with a girl. i don't want to go on the details, aryt?/ basically, he admitted to me that he likes the girl and has plans on courting her. yea. yea.

since then, everytime we see each other, awkward. it's been awkward ever since. i really don't know why. i mean, it doesn't have to be like that, right? and besides, he doesn't know i still feel the same way about him. that i still love him.

i just saw him, two days ago. no changes. awkward. we saw each other and locked eyes. but i'm SURE the awkwardness was mutual. he was too quiet. i was shy. in short -- awkward. that's all i can tell you. it's NOT supposed to be this way. No. i don't know what happened why it became this way. am i just thinking too much? or assuming things?

i admit, butterflies come back everytime he's near. well, actually, the butterflies never left.

Labels: accept, babybear, bloggie, broken, change, complicated, confusion, fool, holding on, hurt, letting go, life, marty, miss, random, why

it's been awhile since i've been online. our router's busted so i can't get connected. :| bummer. my laptop is for music purposes for the meantime. XD

bloggie, bloggie, bloggie. it's been awhile, too! XD and i'm more confused than ever!

i had this weird dream a couple of nights ago. weird because before i slept, i was thinking of a guy, but he wasn't the guy i dreamt about! another guy popped out from my dream. haha. past, baby! :))

i'll updated bloggie when router's fixed. gah. i miss the net. :(

Labels: bloggie, complicated, confusion, dreams, life, random

ok. term started na. hahaha. but i haven't met all of my profs yet.

here are the subjects i've been to:
- FILDLAR
- ANAGEOM
- DIFFCAL
- CHEMONE
- LBYCH11

the subjects that i went to, but the prof didn't show up:
- ENGLRES
- SOLIMEN

------------

yea. second term. it's been fun. hahaha. less homeworks pa kasi. and besides, it's the usual intro's again. but when you see my schedule, it's more flexible than the one i had last term. oh, just exclude monday. hahaha. 3 maths and chemistry in one day with just a 40-minute break, how's that to start your every week? XD

Labels: bloggie, class, college, random

waah! i miss posting on my bloggie.. hmmm.. sorry i wasn't able to post these past few days.. alot of things are circling on my mind eh.. and i'm not ready to accept or share them to you, bloggie... hmm.. maybe next time, i'll make my entry long.. long enough to be a novel.. :D

Labels: alone, random

""if you two are meant to be,"
someday you'll be together at the right time."

i am your bestfriend :)
a poet on the loose.
wanting a motorola U9 now.:))


the name's bianca. :) been living for 17 years now and a college frosh. currently in dlsu-m taking up bs ece :| a friend to all, an enemy to none. i am artsy in my own right. poems are my "thing". and i live by honesty. liars are off-limits here. got that? :)

.bestzhel.
.yanna.
.kini.
.hannah.
.beachbabemackee.
.abigail.
.pam.
.jem.
.den.
.lynnette.
.ghirlhie.
.maxinne.
.merie.
.jetjet.
.tzie.
.janine.
.chi.
.princess.
.grace.
.cazs.
.immi.
.JaJu.
.joan.
.bianca.
.char.
.trish.
.cutreenuh.
.kuya ervin.
.rie.
.riane.
.ate jane.
.wawa.
.TIN.
.kimi.

Designer : Kookies
Coding references are from: Le. Romantique & Daybeforemisery(yarlythestarfish)
Brushes from: Aethereality
Textures from: Hybird Genesis
Big thanks to DANGO DAIKAZOKU!